Why have we come so far from trusting ourselves? We are a society of people who have no idea what we like, what we want, or what even TRULY makes us happy.
For years we are told what we want. We tell our mom we want a cookie and we are told "NO! That isn't good for you!" From birth, the idea that what we WANT and what feels GOOD to us, is infact, NOT GOOD. Beyond being not good, it's "BAD". The idea that we cannot trust our feelings, that our feelings are inherently wrong and will lead to our demise is the false premise that our lives are built around.
When we want a toy, we are told we are spoiled and unappreciative. When we feel like talking in class instead of absorbing absurd and regurgitated, meaningless facts, we now have a psychological condition that requires medication.
As we get older, we may get in a relationship. Do we even like the people we're with? I remember having a crush on a boy when I first got to La Jolla High. I was from a private school and I didn't have many friends, nor did I know who the "cool kids" were. The boy I liked, began to like me back. He treated me well, even brought me a big bag of my favorite sour candies. However, one day, one of my new friends told me "that dude is a loser, Jenna. He is a nerd. He's gross."
So unsure of myself, so unsure that I could really even trust what I felt after a lifetime of being told I couldn't, I assumed that my friend's judgements were more on-point than my own. I looked at that poor boy again, but now through a borrowed-lense of my friend's judgement. I decided to "realize" that I didn't really like him... He was too much of a "nerd". I mean, how the fuck was I supposed to know what I liked anyways?
What about when we get a bit older? When we end up with partners who we "think" are good for us (because god knows we can't discern what FEELS good). They may be attractive, which we know will gain our superficial mother's approval and probably give us some credibility with our friends. They may be strict, just like our dads were.. Which gives us a feeling of safety, because we need someone to keep us in line!
Logically, we have convinced ourself that things feel good! However, when he screams and gets violent because we hang out with our "slutty" friends... we know it feels bad....
But only for a minute.. Because just like how we justified our dad yelling at us ( "He is doing it because he loves me, he just wants the best for me") we turn away from our heart, which is SCREAMING at us, "this hurts, it doesn't feel good to be yelled at or berated"... We move away from our heart and step into our mind and remind ourselves that our feelings aren't right. Shit, we may even tell ourselves that we were the stupid ones for even having hung out with our friends! We convince ourselves that we are grateful for a partner who cares enough to put us in our place, just like our parents did. We shove those feelings down, We crumble in our gass-lit haze.
Can we even begin to fathom how different our lives would look if we were taught that our feelings were real? What if instead of forcing you to hug your pervy uncle, your mom looked at you and said ,"Never do anything that doesn't feel right to you. This feeling you are feeling right now is IMPORTANT and it is true. Remember this feeling, remember what it feels like when your body tells you no. ALWAYS listen to this feeling".
If our childhood was used to reinforce that we all are born with WORKING intuitive compasses which are the most precise tools for guiding us down the right path, we would have spent far less time traveling down roads filled with pain.
Most of us are at the point, where we have been living in a full state of distrust for so long, that we can hardly even trust ourselves to choose the right breakfast... let alone affirm to our children that we can and SHOULD trust ourselves.
Let us affirm to ourselves that our feelings are RIGHT, they are true, and we can trust them. Envision holding baby you in your arms.... See and feel the purity of that newly-incarnated soul. Is there anything mal-intented about that baby? That baby is totally and wholly embodied and enveloped in divine TRUTH... That baby is you, it is the core of who you are. Try to connect in with that pure spirit that is the core of you and allow it to speak to you and tell you what you want.
When you fully follow your joy, your feelings will lead you to only immerse yourself in things that are in line with your highest potential. Yes, sometimes eating a cookie IS exactly what your body needs. We live in a world where nothing is inherently bad or good. Kale could actually be poisonous for someone with a weak digestion and heavy vata (air) imbalance. For someone with this type of a constitution, an oily, greasy cooky would be much more medicinal. Just as taking a day in bed, resting, and eating takeout may be exactly what brings you to a place of wholeness.
The answer to the question "what is good for me?" changes not just daily... or hourly... but moment to moment. The only one who can answer this question is YOU. The only place you can access this answer is in your heart space. Spend more time there, get to really FEEL what it feels like to you when something is RIGHT. Never forget that feeling, never justify or "logic-ify" it away. Live your life in line with that answer and see where it leads you. This is the best thing you can do for yourself, for your family, and for your kids,
Follow your bliss...
And support, allow, and ENCOURAGE your children to do the same.
"I follow my joy, I trust myself"